The implosion of the ill-conceived, unduly complex and risky Collateralized Mortgage-Backed Securities (CMBS) market brings to mind a couple of stories.
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In the early 1980’s I traveled to China. It was a fascinating trip, especially so when reflecting on the country’s transformation since then. In those days it was pretty tough for a westerner, particularly as I was on my own (my parents had traveled to China with a group in the 1970’s…my father took with him a paper Karbank Real Estate Company ‘Offered By’ sign and draped it on the Great Wall for a photo). I couldn’t speak Mandarin, Shanghainese, Cantonese or any other Chinese dialect, except maybe to say ‘thank you’ (though I found out after the trip that I was using the wrong words in the wrong places---no wonder I was often greeted with blank stares when I attempted to say ‘thank you’) and in those days very, very few Chinese spoke or understood English.
I remember going to a restaurant that I had read specialized in a local delicacy that time of the year: hairy crab. After pointing at the crabs on the tables nearby, I managed to communicate to the waiter what I wanted and in a few minutes he brought me a large plate of steaming hot hairy crabs…in the shells.
I had only been in China for a day or two and I didn’t know the ropes or the etiquette. Not knowing quite what to do, I tried to eat the crabs with the chopsticks, couldn’t crack the shells and was making a mess. I looked over at a man at the next table who made the simplest of gestures to me indicating that it was OK to eat with my hands. No pointing, no waving…his gesture and nod were so slight that in that instant, only I could see it. He spared me embarrassment. After I began eating the crabs (which were delicious) with my hands, he nodded again as if to say “enjoy!”.
Given enough time and energy, it would have been possible to eat the hairy crabs with chopsticks. Yet as the man at the next table knew, and apparently everyone else in China knew, chopsticks were not the right tools to use. The simple method of eating with the hands was much better suited to the task and made a lot more sense.
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When my son was young, we went for a visit to San Antonio. While there, in addition to visiting the usual notable San Antonio landmarks, we went to a wax museum.
The first portion of the museum was dedicated to historical figures, movie stars, sport figures and the like. To me the exhibits seemed pretty hokey and the figures more creepy than realistic: the skin on the figures appeared rubbery and sweaty; the facial expressions looked like those in photos in abnormal psychology books.
Oddly, the museum was rather hot (I would have thought the wax would have stayed better preserved at a cooler temperature). Moreover, the air was stale and thick and as we progressed through the exhibits, the rooms became darker and darker, except for the intense spot lights on the figures. The exhibits seemed to go on and on and on and the entrance from where we came, ever more remote. I was feeling claustrophobic and began peering around corners to see if I could spot daylight, or even an exit sign. I was ready to turn-back, but figured that we had to be closer to the end than to the beginning. I was uneasy and even feeling unsteady on my feet (though, remarkably, my son was blithely enjoying the exhibits). Frighteningly, the figures in the exhibits looked more and more like zombies, the familiar-faced but motionless dead…and that was before we crossed into the special horror section!
The dreaded horror section: Vincent Price with that toothy, foreboding smile; the shower scene from Psycho (supposedly Janet Leigh was never able to take a shower again after shooting that scene); the demented looking, wide-eyed Jack Nicholson in the Shining, and the like. Whereas the earlier exhibits were creepy, the horror exhibits were positively scary, in part because by that time I had lost all sense of direction and was completely discombobulated. Also, there were strategically located ‘fun house’ mirrors which, in that environment, made me look every bit as scary-looking as the figures in the exhibits. I was light-headed, very queasy and found myself muttering: “ Wait a minute, I sure don’t remember blood dripping from Norman Bates’ knife the last time we passed here" and “Wasn’t the guy with the hockey mask and knives-as-fingers over there before “ and ”That guillotine blade was not in the down position a minute ago…aaoooohhh, and there was no head in the basket then either!” and “This is the bloody Twilight Zone!!!”.
When the exit finally appeared and we stumbled out into the sunshine and fresh air, I was only modestly relieved. I was queasy for the next week. Even now, when my son mentions the wax museum to me, usually to razz me, that queasiness returns.
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Financing real estate with collateralized mortgage-backed securities is like trying to eat hairy crabs with chop sticks: it’s clumsy, it’s messy and there’s a much simpler and more sensible way to do it. It is also like wandering through the horror section of a wax museum: it’s unnerving enough when things are OK, but it's terrifying when you want to get out.
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Collateralized mortgage-backed securities try, in essence, to fit disparate pieces of real estate into a neat, uniform, commoditized, sliceable and diceable package to provide lenders (the investors) the illusion that they are buying financial instruments rather than a piece of a motley and unwieldy collection of mortgages. Yet anyone who understands real estate (apparently not Wall Street) knows that doesn’t work.
Real estate, particularly commercial real estate, is not well suited to being financed as part of a large, disparate pool of property. Each property is unique. Each has its own particular physical characteristics and its own niche in the real estate market place. Even if two properties are quite similar, at times those similarities will diverge: different tenancies and lease terms, different repair or refurbishment needs, different capital requirements, different tax assessments, different neighbors, different title issues, and so on. There is no ’one-size-fits-all’ for real estate.
Moreover, there are too many day-to-day and long term decisions that have to be made in the course of owning of real estate. After all the slicing and dicing and the myriad traunches of debt syndicated to a large and diverse pool of investors, with whom does the borrower talk to get lender approvals or decisions? It is ridiculously impractical (think eating hairy crabs with invisible chopsticks).
For example, a standard provision of most real estate loans requires that the borrower seek lender approval for a variety of matters including significant lease and building modifications. With a conventional mortgage loan, the borrower calls the lender…who knows the borrower, the property and the market… they talk through the issues and act accordingly. With a CMBS loan, the borrower may not even know who to contact.
If the lender’s representative can be found, he (or she) probably knows nothing about the borrower, nothing about the property, nothing about the tenant, nothing about the market, and nothing about the investor… other than what is in the file (which is probably incomplete). If any decision is time-sensitive, like getting an estoppel, forget it. If there is a problem that needs to be resolved, the borrower is stuck, the tenant is stuck and the lender (investors) is stuck. If there is a borrower default, as is the case with a huge number of CMBS loans, it can be a long, laborious, painful process to get a resolution. When things go bad on a CMBS deal, it's like being stuck in the horror section of the wax museum, except that this one is populated with really scary lawyers, unrealistic accountants and clueless real estate people.
From a borrower's perspective, the simpler, better solution (think eating crabs with the hands) is to finance property with a conventional, stand-alone mortgage rather than CMBSs. Even if it costs a little more in interest rate, stand-alone mortgages offer greater flexibility to lease, manage and sell property. From a lender's (investor's) perspective, when it comes to the CMBS wax museum, as my father used to say, "It's easier to stay out than to get out".
Steven Karbank
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